Remembrance Day Tribute

 I appreciate peace.

I am grateful to be living in a country that has not experienced war within its borders during my lifetime, and, I hope, never will in its future.  I wish this for all peoples.

I am also grateful for my personal freedoms.

The Value of Fun and Games

I participated in a conversation game this week that reminded me of the importance of fun and games.  I thank the people who opened themselves up and made a connection with the group by sharing something about themselves.  They contributed to my appreciation of the art of play.

As a child, I was raised under an umbrella of rules that were intended to teach me that hard work was rewarded and having fun was unproductive, or a waste of time.  My life experiences reinforced this lesson and I was proud of the accomplishments my hard work resulted in.  It wasn't till much later, as an adult, that I began to value fun for more than its ability to restore my energy.

 

At some point, I began to feel that coined phrase, "there must be more to life".  I had created a lifestyle pattern of working so hard that it took doing nothing just to rejuvenate myself.   Time was a precious commodity.  It had to be spent productively; anything else was a personal indulgence.

By the time I finally saw that the solution was a simple one, I had grown rusty at the art of play.

I love people who see humour in the little things in life.  I strive to be more like them.  If I can find the fun in the small moments of each day, I feel happier.

When I am happier, more good times come my way.

The Gift of Forgiveness May Be Acceptance

 I was recently reminded of an "aha" moment I had while grieving my mother's passing.  It had nothing to do with my mother but everything to do with my father.

Childhood resentment of my father was heavily based on my perspective that he was the polar opposite to my mother.  Whereas I saw her as kind and loving, I felt that he was cruel and cold.  I had also felt that her attributes were undervalued.  To express my feelings of loss, I wrote a poem to honour her.  It was in this act that I gained awareness of my own lack of compassion.  Let me explain.

Growing up I had felt my father's judgment upon me at all times.  I didn't feel that he saw, or accepted me for, who I was.  So, how could he love and appreciate me?  It made me feel that he wanted me to be someone else - perhaps the son he never had.

When I got to writing this stanza, I had an awakening of conscience.

Remember her,
By being accepting of others,
Not for who you want them to be,
But for "who" they choose to be.

I had complained about who my father was my entire life.  In writing these lines, I recognized it was up to me to change how I looked at him.  To see him as a man who struggled all his life to do his best.  It was time to accept him for who he was, instead of expecting him to reflect the image of a father I had wanted him to be.

My new perspective was tested at his death bed five years later.  As he lay dying, he talked about what a great father he had been.  I didn't contradict him.  I acknowledged his belief in himself and gave him the gift of a peaceful passing.

I will always respect and thank my father for providing his family with a home, food on the table and an education.  He never made me feel that being female meant I couldn't become anything I decided on.  The contrast he represented in my life experiences brought clarity to my vision of who I wanted to be and reflect back to the world.  I am grateful for these things.

Appreciate the Satisfaction in Your Baby Steps

Life is a continuum of baby steps.  It only makes sense, then, that your level of joy can be maximized by noticing the happiness you feel as you take little steps throughout your day.

This has been particularly difficult for me.  I always had my eye on the ball, the end game.  So much so, that I often didn't stop to appreciate the process of getting there.  The fear naturally becomes that you will never be truly happy unless you reach your goal(s), and once reached, what's next.

This is what I do differently now.

I look for the satisfaction in the small things I accomplish during my day.

For example:

"Got the laundry done today.  Isn't it satisfying to check something like that off your TO DO list.  I love having clean, fresh smelling clothes to put on.  It feels good to wear clothing that is freshly washed.  I appreciate looking into my closet and having my entire wardrobe to chose from.  Wearing nice clothing makes me feel good."

When I first started this practice, it felt contrived and silly.  It took a bit of focus to allow the visceral feeling of satisfaction and appreciation to surface.

If you are interested in playing along with me, do it the next time you feel satisfied.  If you want to try this out right away, look back in your experience for such a memory.  Now, milk the feeling for all its worth.  Talk about it (if only to yourself).  Keep the conversation positive.  Keep finding words that invoke the feeling of satisfaction and appreciation.  It's not enough to say that you are satisfied.  You have to use words that help you to feel satisfied.

The words we choose in life are very powerful; whether they are external or internal.  Choose carefully. 

This practice can pivot my day from feeling blah to being energized.  Let me know if this makes a difference in your daily outlook.

The Need to Express Myself

 Writing down my thoughts and feelings is something I have done since childhood.  First it was entries into a dairy, then it was writing poetry and prose (sometimes even song lyrics); this transitioned into journaling which morphed into blogging. 

Then I reached a point where I wasn't sure why I was writing.  What was the point?  There were lengthy periods when I didn't capture any of my thoughts on paper.  I know now that, even then, my mind was still sorting out what I wanted to get out of the process.  The feeling of satisfaction when I find the perfect words to express my thoughts was worth holding onto, but I needed more.

In the meantime, I found other ways to express myself.  I borrowed something from my childhood -- play.  Doing things simply for the joy they bring.  I took up golfing, gardening, cooking, sewing, cycling and reading.  I love it all.

I still haven't sorted out where my writing is taking me but I have decided to be open to what comes along.

Starting My Day Off Right

I start my day off with a cup of coffee.  A large mug with a heathy pour of 2% milk.

When I get up in the morning, I have a little routine that starts my day off right and feeling good.  I put on my housecoat, go to the washroom and head groggily down the stairs and into the kitchen.  I reach for one of my favourite mugs from either the cabinet or the dishwasher and brew a single cup in my coffee maker.

I'm not particular about the brand.  In fact, I'm not sure that I even like coffee all that much.  What I do like is the feeling of wrapping my hands around a warm mug, bringing it up to my waiting lips and slowly sipping at its contents.  The feeling is not complete until I comfortably position myself in my living room, with coffee in hand, so that I can gaze out the sliding doors into the green woods that are at the back of my house.

My husband, who is an early riser, is normally already engaged in activity while I am still wrapping myself up in the quiet comfort of my thoughts.  For me, the feeling is magic.  Taking the time to envision my day.

Life is made up of many little moments.  I am happier when I take the time to drink them in.

The Value of Creativity

 Feeling alive gives me the energy and enthusiasm to enjoy my life.

I find that when I undertake a creative endeavour, be it within the framework of writing, sewing or gardening (just to name some activities that work as my muse to awaken my creative spirit), I can feel a surge of energy stirring within me.

There is nothing that makes me feel more alive than going through the process of creating something that a moment ago was no more than an idea.  It can start with something as simple as a meal.  I see a recipe that looks interesting and ideas about how I would change it to suit my tastes begin to take form.  I look through the cupboards or go shopping for ingredients which come from the image taking shape in my mind.

Not everything works out.

This would be a disappointment if I was only interested in the goal - the finished product.  If I lose sight that I had fun during the process or that I had gained clarity about what I would do differently the next time, then certainly I would call this failure.

But as Thomas Edison said, "The light bulb was an invention with 1,000 steps."  

Writing Prompts - Putting the Perfectionist Aside

I've recently adopted a regular habit of using writing prompts - specific words, phrases or topics - to strengthen my writing muscles.

This may sound a bit odd, but yes, writing, and all other creative endeavours, need practice to be strengthened - similar to a physical activity.

I realized today that I actually practice different things on different days.

Recently, I've been practicing the art of writing without the perfectionist standing over my shoulder prejudging the thoughts that are birthing in my mind.  She thinks she is being helpful; but what I've found is that she often aborts these fragile thoughts in their fetal state before they have had an opportunity to fully form and show her their true beauty or potential.

How do I do this, you ask?

I write whatever pops into my head, even if it has nothing to do with the topic I chose to write on.  I allow my writing to take its own direction.  It is not until I am spent that I allow myself to go back and read what I have written, deciding, only then, what should be done with the diamonds and coal I find there.

There Are No Rules

 What a freeing thought!  THERE ARE NO RULES!

Just like there is no one book outlining how to be the perfect parent, there are no rules for living your life.  Sure, there are society's expectations or standards and your own moral compass or set of beliefs, and some believe you are born onto a preordained path.  My belief ...  "Life is what you make of it".

Come down this path with me for a moment  and entertain the thought that there are no rules.  What would you do differently when approaching a project or a situation in your life?  Would you be more creative?  Would you feel at ease?  Are there rules you live by that hinder your happiness?

What if ... THERE ARE NO RULES ...

Reinventing Myself

When I was about 50, enough changes were taking place in my life that I was starting to struggle with my sense of self and my self worth.   Three major roles in my life were shifting - my role as Mom, my role as worker, and my role as spouse.

The kids were grown and no longer needed me in the role of mother that I had settled into.  Also, I took an opportunity to retire early and become a stay-at-home wife - something I hadn't even done when the kids were born.  It was the perfect opportunity to reinvent myself; although, I didn't really see it that way at the time.  In fact, it was more like I fell into it as I began to struggle with my thoughts and emotions.

It is now ten years since I began writing this particular insight and fifteen years since I retired.

I have discovered that, although there are milestone moments which beg for you to redefine yourself, any moment is perfect.  I am happily asking myself daily... am I happy? ... am I doing things that I love? ... am I with people I love?  My answers to these questions now drive the direction of my life and who I choose to be.

Creative Blocks Don't Exist

I am so excited about sharing an "aha" moment I recently experienced.  It has been so impactful, that I can feel a noticeable change in my behaviour and thinking.  Sometimes it's the little messages that work the best.

Recently, I enrolled in an on-line writing course.  It has two workshop leaders who have been using their own experiences to both inspire and guide a community of writers and would-be writers to create their own messages.  The teachings are simplistic and focus on cultivating an atmosphere of creativity. 

Through this process, I faced down the curse of the Perfectionist - my habit of constant editing.  It has been my life habit to edit my thoughts, ideas, words, visions, etc. long before they ever become anything concrete.  Definition of writer's block - the inability to find an idea or words worth penning.  All those ideas aborted before they were even conceived.  What a shame.

How freeing to be told - just write whatever comes to mind.

Now I am practicing to write/create first and edit later so that it will become ingrained  in my nature.  What fun! 

Here We Go Again

 I began this blog many years ago as part of my own personal journey of self discovery.   My belief that the content was meant for an audience, that existed only in my mind, made the process both challenging and difficult - leading to many starts and stops.  When my writings took a direction that lacked clarity, as I felt it often did, I would consider writing about more conventional hobbies of mine.  Topics about - how to sew - or cook recipes - seemed safer.  Their content and purpose were easier for me to envision.  In the end, I seemed to conclude that I'd rather spend my time doing these hobbies, as opposed to, writing about them.

Starting as early as my childhood years, I have been fascinated by my perception of the mind's enormous potential.  If I have a passion about anything, I have a passion about understanding how the mind works - and not just from a scientific and/or physical viewpoint - I also get totally absorbed when considering metaphysical theories.  This is probably why I keep coming back to restarting this blog.

These posts contain my musings about how certain beliefs seem to demonstrate themselves in my life experiences.  I hope you enjoy reading them.