Getting Perspective

I recently started following a blog called "Perfectly Cursed Life" by Kim. I found it by accident (if you believe in such things) while I was checking out Rona Maynard's site. I enjoy Kim's bent on life and recently had some thoughts of my own on her perspective of Taylor Swift (Read Kim's "A Little Bit of Perspective", Nov 16, 2009 ).

Before I begin, I'd like to state that I'm not a fan of Taylor Swift's - I haven't listened to her enough to know whether I like, or dislike, her music. I did, however, see her interviewed once and thought that she was a lovely young girl with a beautiful voice. This isn't about Taylor Swift - it's about perspective.

My own thought train started when I felt that Kim, while focusing on what a person with inexperience lacks, failed to acknowledge their value - seeing life through innocent eyes. Whereas, I agree that the accumulation of experience as time passes can change our perception of past events, at the same time, I think it should be acknowledged that the original experience - just as it happened - may have its own merits. In the case of youthful naivety, sadly, once our own innocence has been lost, sometimes it is only through remembering our past that we can awaken that child-like sense of wonder and belief we may wish to draw upon again.

Aside from whatever thoughts I had, I believe Kim was actually wondering how much time needs to go by before her own improved perspective became valid.

So how much time is enough?

I don't think that there is a right or a wrong answer to this question.

Now that I'm in my 50's, I know I see things differently than when I was in my 20's, my 30's or my 40's. I suppose my perspective will continue to change as I enter my 60's, 70's, 80's and 90's (if I'm lucky). I see and appreciate different things as my focus in life changes and I'm not so quick to discount the value of things that didn't hold much value to me before.

My belief is that your perspective is always valuable - at all points in time - particularly because it is ever-changing.

My Quest for Happiness

Being happy is not an easy state for me to achieve. That's why I have so many quick and easy tips - ones that quickly energize and help me to focus on something uplifting. Music, for one, is my quick fix.

As an aside, and just so you understand my situation more fully - part of my challenge is actually chemical too. I suffer from clinical depression (seems to run in my gene pool); but I refuse to ride the drug train to happiness. I have needed a kick start on 2 to 3 occasions when I had to seek the aid of anti-depressant meds; a necessary evil when you can't get off the couch. However, I have learned that I can actually keep myself in check by maintaining weekly routines of regular tasks and activities, supplemented with sufficient exercise.

The other part of my challenge is all me.

The other day, I started thinking about "being happy" when I was with a friend of mine. I appreciate and admire her because she always seems to be perpetually laughing. She's not inhuman; but she seems to have the gift of laughing at life - especially when she sees herself as the joke. She is a joy to be around for that very reason and her example gives me something I can strive to emulate.

Yet, it's different with me - I'm different - though not unique. For me, it seems like I'm on a quest to be happy. It's not that I'm an unhappy person - it's more like I postpone my happiness. I wait till the moment is appropriate - like after I've finished working. God forbid that I have fun when I'm supposed to be serious.

In fact, while thinking about this, I had an "aha" moment. Taking an archetypical example, I saw that my "inner child" is in hiding - that she's actually afraid to come out to play or is confused about when it's appropriate for her to do so. She also has some underlying fears - the strongest of which is the fear of being ridiculed. I could see that this is learned behaviour from my childhood - behaviour I used to protect myself during periods of my life - but behaviour that is no longer beneficial. Somehow my behaviour morphed into an adult's coping mechanism.

The whole scenero reminded me of one episode from the Star Trek Series - The Next Generation where Data is talking to a young boy who is curious about how Data operates. Data confides that he too often wonders what it is like to be a child. The young boy tells him that the best way to learn about being a child is to learn to play. When they part at the end, the boy reminds Data to "play a little every day". I always thought this was good advice.

For some of us, playing comes naturally. For me, I still have to remind myself that it's okay to have fun and it's actually a good thing to do what you enjoy.

This realization hasn't concluded my quest; it's only been a stop along the way. My direction has changed though, from an outward to an inward search for happiness. I figure that once I have found the laughter in my heart, I'll be able to laugh at life too.

Improving Your Day With a Little Love

Many of us have lost the art of being grateful, and yet, there is so much for us to be grateful for - no matter what is happening at a specific moment. When we are feeling grateful for what we have, we are happier people.

Now if you are like me and need a nudge in the right direction from time to time, try this exercise. It's something I can do at any time and any place. It helps me when I want to change my focus to a positive outlook - or a higher energy. It's intended to activate the heart chakra and only takes a minute. I like to do it out loud for more punch but it can be done inwardly too.

Close your eyes and think about the things you love and say "I love [insert one person/thing/activity that you love]". Repeat for about 1 minute or until you've named 5 - 10 lovable things. Remember to feel the love for whatever you are voicing and conjure up a picture in your mind.

For me it goes something like ... "I love my daughter" "I love my son" "I love my husband" "I love golfing" "I love good food" "I love to sing"... and on and on.

This little exercise reminds me of the song, "My Favorite Things" from the Sound of Music and always lifts my spirits.

Dream Symbols from my Past

I have recurring dreams about my first love. I always recognize this as a dream packed with symbolic meaning because it touches so many emotions. It is important to recognize, when interpreting dream symbols, that this dream isn't about the individual; it's about that part of me that is represented by the individual.

First, I try to identify what the symbolic meaning is. A certain amount of free flow thinking is helpful.

This person represented someone to me who was ambitious, creative, had business smarts, lacked emotional depth and, most-of-all, something I didn't want to let go of. In fact, I was probably scared to let go of this because I had grown an attachment to it. I thought it provided me with some security, but in fact, the relationship was unstable even though it was deeply rooted.

The next step is to look through my current experiences for something that sounds like that.

Currently, I am rediscovering what makes me happy in the form of hobbies and activities. One of my current ideas has been to set up an internet business. When I think about it, it feels similar to my dream emotions. I have deeply rooted feelings about working - such as, running a successful business means that I am happy and successful. In my life, I found that this actually wasn't true for me. Although business success did make me feel important and successful; it never gave me any lasting happiness.

I'll have to keep this in mind when making any decisions about taking on a new business venture. This dream doesn't mean I shouldn't do it. It simply brings to light that I should look closely at my motivation(s) when making any new venture decisions.