Lemons and Lemonade

Life is full of contrasts.

As we move through our personal life experiences, I think that many of us get caught up in the ones that are like lemons - sour, distasteful and unpleasant on our pallets.

Personally, I have always thought of myself as a survivor. It would seem that the experiences that I find the most distasteful in my life are also the ones that bring out some of my best qualities. During a troubled childhood, I found that I was independent and strong. During financial hardships, I found that I was resourceful and driven by the love for my family. Yet, still, my preference would be to avoid this part of life's challenges.  How about you?

I look back to the earlier part of my life and I see that I often comforted myself with the thought that everything happens for a reason. Somewhere along the line, probably about mid-life, I changed my thinking.  I saw that the reason everything looked like it happened for a reason could also be explained by the fact that everytime I was served lemons, I worked very hard at finding the ingredients to make a tasety lemonade.

Today, I probably have a more blended view.  I believe that I buy the lemons so that I can make the lemonade - my life being my creation.

So as I make up my shopping list for tomorrow, I think I'm going to leave out the lemons (for at least awhile) and stick to something that appeals to my pallet more.  Maybe this time I'll pick something like apples for an apple pie.

Are You Paddling Upstream?

If our life experiences form the river that we flow in, which direction are you traveling in?

I have always had an insatiable interest in what the human mind is capable of.  Ever since I was a young kid, I read all kinds of books on psychic phenomena and the supernatural.  To this day, I am interested in all belief systems from the main stream religions to the ones on the edge.  I am a bit of a self-help book junkie too, because, like my interest in sci-fi, it helps me to, if only temporarily, step out of my box and look at the world through a different paradigm.

I've just finished reading a book written by Esther and Jerry Hicks entitled

The Astonishing Power of Emotions Let Your Feelings Be Your Guide

I feel that I have to mention that these authors credit the material in their books to an energy known as Abraham, an energy channeled by Esther. Alternatively, I also feel that I have to mention that I don't believe you have to accept the idea of channeling to get something of value out of reading the interesting perspectives being presented in their books. So if you don't believe in this school of thought, put aside where they say the information comes from, and I'll attempt to share with you what I got out of reading this book.

The analogy used here is one of a stream or river whereby the flow is made up of all of our life experiences.

It's simple really.

If you feel unhappy because life seems hard, you have been paddling upstream. When you are happy and everything seems to be falling into place, you are moving with the flow downstream. And, as you can imagine, you are never moving solely in one direction.

So why do so many of us use up our energies by continually paddling upstream?

For me, I believed that everything I ever wanted or needed was upstream. I come from a belief system that tells me that hard work and sacrifice is necessary to be happy in the end. The journey was not something you were intended to relish or look forward to - only the end result counted.

So what if I'm wrong? Or maybe, not so much "wrong" as, "misguided" - only seeing a small portion of the puzzle and not the big picture. Maybe, working hard is a choice. Maybe, it's my choice to work hard because it gives me a feeling of satisfaction. Maybe, I don't have to work hard for everything. Maybe, I can give up that belief if it no longer serves me.

Let's go with that thought for a moment.

So, where's the bleep, bleep map showing me the big picture!

Well, obviously we don't get a map, or a user's guide for that matter. But, think about it - if the only direction we should be taking is downstream, do we really need one?

But what if I'm not always aware that I'm paddling against the current? Wouldn't it be nice to, at least, have a compass handy?

Voila! We do have a compass - our emotional guidance system.

So where's the bleep, bleep manual you ask?

You don't need one. It's easy to navigate. When you are feeling happy you are moving downstream.

How simple is that?

If you found these ideas interesting visit my folder on SkyDrive and download a series of audio files of Abraham to listen to.

http://cid-741e2a2b5c830ef8.skydrive.live.com/browse.aspx/.Public/Abraham

Also, here is the website for Esther and Jerry Hicks.

http://www.abraham-hicks.com/lawofattractionsource/index.php

My Teddy Bear

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Phrases I Enjoy ....

I came across two different phrases recently that really hit home with me so I'd like to share them here.

The first is:

Life is moments of discovery - not an exam!

This one is particularly meaningful to me because the focus of one of my recurring nightmares is writing an exam (or being tested in some way).  In these dreams I either don't know where to go to write it, or I've missed it, or I don't know the material being tested. Thinking about life from the view that you must be prepared to be tested sometimes takes all the fun away from the learning process.

The second is:

Never assume that what you know is all there is to know and what you have experienced so far is all there is to experience.

I think of myself as an eternal student, so this phrase just appealed to me.  I hope that I can be open-minded and learning new things right up until the last day I'm alive.

My Love of All Things New

I've known this about myself for a long time... I am happy when I'm learning something new.  What I hadn't fully recognized until recently was how that applied to so many different parts of my daily life.

To start with, I suppose that is why I've had multiple careers.  I remember always being very excited at the start of each one of them, especially when the learning curve seemed to be uphill right from the get go.  As soon as that curve flattened out, so did my enthusiasm for the work.  In fact, I was happiest if I was continually growing with my job and, at the same time, training someone to eventually replace me.  It seemed like I always knew I was meant to move on.

Today, I don't have job skills that I am trying to acquire - just life skills.  My love for learning new things hasn't diminished nor has the excitement it brings me.  The difference, now, is that I find "newness" in unexpected places.

In the past, it hadn't been obvious to me that my love of discovering everything there was to know about someone was part of this trend.  I never found chatter of a superficial nature very satisfying.  I liked the ideas that sprung forth during conversations about the forbidden topics (like religion and politics) far more.

That's why I have come to the realization that people are truly wonderful; they are constantly in a state of change.  I find that there is always something new to learn about even your closest and dearest family and friends. What a terrific find this has been for me.  By moving my focus away from work related newness to exploring the difference in people, I have found an exciting playground.  Each individual is like a snowflake to me - similar in their makeup, yet wondrous and unique.

What I can't figure out is how "newness" differs from "change" (which seems to evoke a different response from me altogether).  Apparently, a question I will have to ponder on another day.

A Little Something About “Mindfulness Meditation”

Mindfulness Meditation, for me, is about living in the now. I think that the phrase “being present” seems to capture its essence.

Living in the “now” is something I’ve always found difficult to do.  My life seems to be either directed towards what has happened, my past, or what is about to happen, my future.  There are only selective activities that I partake in that engulf me so thoroughly that I am truly focused on the present.

When one engages in Mindfulness Meditation, you are tuning into what is happening around you, and yes, even to you.  It is as simple as becoming more aware of the feeling of your lungs expanding as you suck air into your body with each breath you take in, and then experiencing its opposite, the feeling of contraction as the breath is pushed out by your diaphragm.   You are conscious and aware of yourself and your surroundings including everything that you see, hear and feel.  You use your mind to focus on what you might normally have experienced only at a subconscious level.  You attend to every moment without judgment.

The prelude in my life to this form of meditation arise from activities that consume me to the point that I can only focus on the moment.  They include golfing, bowling, camping, problem solving and, I was surprised when, arguing, came to mind too.  There are probably many more, but these are some of the most consistent.  They are the ones that need my total concentration to perform.  And certainly, the level of interest I bring to an activity ensures that my mind is less likely to wander off, too.  For me, these are good exercises in helping me achieve a state of “being” – just living in the moment.

I have friends who seem to have no trouble living in the present.  They have my sincere admiration.  For me,  I’m still learning to enjoy the ride.

Letting Go of Stress

Stress is something we do to ourselves. The question is ... "Does it serve us?" And if not, why the heck are we doing this to ourselves?

During our evolutionary beginnings, I think that nature intended stress to be a protective reaction to our environment - the fight or flight response to danger. Our senses would catch wind of something that was potentially dangerous and put us on edge ... ready for the fight or poised for the retreat.

Today, we have developed to the point where stress is not only a reaction to external stimuli but also to our internal head chatter - that little voice that's always rattling on in your mind (at least mine is).

I feel like I have very little stress in my life these days. Quite an accomplishment, since it wasn't all that long ago when I continually felt stressed out.

Certainly, being retired helped - but perhaps in a way you wouldn't have expected.

It's seems silly now, but the first thing you do is replace all your work problems with more personal ones. I tried not to say bigger, more important problems with smaller, less important ones since whatever problems you are facing, well, they always seem big and important to you - don't they? Just ask any troubled teenager and they'll tell you that their sky is falling. (Does that prove my point?)

I believe, that we never really get away from problems. They're just a fact of life. So what retirement did do for me was, it allowed me the time to reflect. I reflected on everything and I concluded that everything is just the way it's supposed to be - perfect.

Now that doesn't mean I don't want things to be different - that would make me superhuman. What it does mean is that, in any given moment, I can accept things for being just the way they are.

So when I'm rushing off and need to be somewhere at a given time and the light turns red putting me behind schedule, that's just the way it is. In that moment, I can't change it, perhaps I wouldn't even want to if I knew what that change would result in. Think about it for a moment. If I ran the red light, maybe I got into a car accident. The possibilities are endless.

Just remember that some stress in your life is a good thing. It gives you the edge you need to do certain tasks. But too much stress affects your immune system and, voila, you get sick.

So, keep the stress in your life working for you by remembering that life, in any single moment, is perfect just the way it is. And if you can't believe that it's perfect, then at least acknowledge that it's not worth stressing over things you have no control over. I guarantee that you will feel less stress.

Trust the universe. It knows the bigger picture.